| How can I not mention Michael? |
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| 12:04am 26/06/2009 |
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mood:  confused music: Come on!
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Shit's gone crazy, yo. From the moment I first heard the rumor that the King of Pop is no more, to the ever present CNN "Breaking News" full page coverage; talk of Michael is everywhere. Rightfully so--he IS the godfather or pop music and music videos (and also quintessential child-star-gone-wacko, but that's another story).
It's so strange how the media have exasperated this event. Not only is it a sad day for music fans, but it's a focal point of the digital era of broadcast. "Tweets" of celebrities' responses, photo galleries, Facebook statuses (guilty), digital shorts...I can only imagine how many people instantly had extra work or heightened motivation to make this event known, and to make it known that it is known. To provide further irony, I think I'll be posting this rant on Facebook in my perpetuation of social media.
I have only been in my adult life for a handful of prominent music icon deaths. Actually, off the top of my head, I can only name Johnny Cash (and of course, niche band members like Layne Staley of Alice in Chains, Dimebag Darrell, Johnny Ramone, Rick James and hell, I'll throw in Tupac).
So I wonder if this media frenzy masks the honest sadness that is the day of a fallen star. I wonder if the media is desensitizing or, alternatively, exaggerating the genuine emotions and reactions of the mourners. How much of it is force-fed rather than genuine? I wish I was around, in their respective time-frames, when other relics met their premature deaths to see how society reacted in the height of print, radio and undigitized news broadcasting. Figures like: Kurt Cobain- King of grunge, Elvis Presley-"King of Rock," John Lennon- King of Love, Jim Morrison-"The Lizard King," Freddie Mercury- King of flamboyance, Jimi Hendrix-King of guitars, Frank Zappa- King of uncensrship, Sid Vicious-king of bass guitar (ahem), Jerry Garcia- King of dope smokers, Stevie Ray Vaughan- King of modern blues, Jeff Buckley- King of swimming.
I wonder how drastically different such coverage was, even for the more prominent music icons such as Elvis and Lennon. Furthermore, I wonder how people like Iggy Pop and Scott Weiland are still alive and rocking harder than ever (fuck yeah!). And I wonder why, dear god why, could it have not been some other trainwreck chart-topper like Britney instead.
Michael, you will definitely be missed - because, if for nothing else, we are given no other alternative. |
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| Ch-ch-ch-changes |
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| 01:46am 20/06/2009 |
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mood:  happy
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Perhaps everything I've been doing these past years has been wrong..
Since now- I love not working hard at school, I love having a legit/paid/full time 8-5 job, I love writing professionally, I love "business attire," I love being around people, I (have) love(d) (for the past 6ish months until two-ish weeks from now) not having a boyfriend, I love riding on the back of motorcycles, I love meeting new people I'd usually shrug off, I love maintaining a regular work-out schedule, I love eating late-night food in bed, I love drinking wine, I love not being dependent on cigarettes, I love living in LA, I love being simply WYSIWYG with no hidden agenda or emotion and I love how I no longer feel like twat for embracing a hedonistic, good natured and fun-loving attitude despite it being normal and uninteresting.
Alternatively, I hate PCs, I hate Adobe Acrobat Pro 9, I hate people who think Scientology is a legitimate religion/philosophy, I hate staying in, I hate wasting the day sleeping (though sometimes I still do it, damnit), I hate hipster bands, I hate Hollywood, I hate driving across town, I hate mind games, I hate seeing people from my past and I hate being constant and defined by who I grew up being.
This time last year, who would have guessed? |
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| Neither here nor there |
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| 03:21am 05/06/2009 |
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mood:  frustrated music: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young - Four Dead in Ohio
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I recall a handful of character defining moments during my emotional and intellectual development in Ohio. I remember the exact instance when I was 8 years old when, for the first time, I realized my dad wasn't a perfect father figure after all. I recall the event at 18, when I caught the first hint that my mom was emotionally vulnerable and not a stable rock. And at 25, I can pinpoint the dinner at which I lost all familiarity and sense of intellectual belonging to those here in Ohio.
The whole dynamic of my orientation in my life changes when I visit home. Of course in L.A., I'm entirely independent and my actions are unprecedented. I feel so strong and sedimented in my cultural and political ideals. I feel up-to-date with pressing topics and social concerns, and like I just get the general gist of how things operate. And I have lived several states away from any trace of family members or key adult figures since I was 18.
When I come home, of course all my ideals are not only disagreed with, but they are put in such a way by brilliant, respectable people that I start questioning my beliefs, or more likely, question myself as to whether or not I sound like an idiot when I speak my naive opinions. I have been called a liberal quackjob (though paraphrased in their respective ways) by three separate people since Tuesday. I have been told that the political beliefs I hold are only temporary and the consequence of going to the schools I did. Dude, I'm no tree-hugging hippie, people, but at the same time, I'm not jumping into your conversations about what a tragedy it was that McCain lost.
I enjoy California immensely, but I'm not completely onboard with the general, popular mentality either. I still hold some social and political conservatism and think the entertainment industry holds more hypocrisy and unnecessary power than the US automakers. At the same rate, I don't utterly hate Ohio and everyone in it. Sure I took the fastest opportunity to flee the state, but coming home and seeing my high school friends has always been such a relief and an opportunity to recharge myself for living in L.A. I love so many things about this state and wouldn't have chosen to grow up in any other place. I do have many unrelated theories about why the social dynamic of the midwest is superior to anywhere, but in the sake of continuity, that rant will be saved for a later time.
Ironically, this time around, I've never been as cognizant as to how much being here in Ohio makes me feel like an outsider. This is my home, my people, my upbringing and my familiarity. So much of who I am has no doubt been molded within a 20 mile radius. And yet, I feel like a total stranger in the town I grew up in.
Maybe it's that LA has finally gotten to me. That it's warped my perceptions and restructured my thought process. I feel like that rich kid who goes off to a liberal arts school in San Francisco or something and comes home to face their republican country-clubbers to explain they're going off to join the Peace Corps.
So maybe this funk I'm in is purely environmentally rooted (as in MY environment, not THE environment). What are pressing issues in California? Geological secession of the state via devastating earthquakes, gay marriage, "green" living, water shortages, immigration (at least, these are the topics most interesting to me). And what are the riveting 1+ drink-induced heated conversations I'm immediately exposed to here? GM, labor unions, real estate, sub-zero temperatures, boat restoration and "Oh my god we have a black, liberal president." If a venn diagram were constructed of the similar subjects it would include college football (though vaguely comparable) or perhaps the concept of Trader Joe's being awesome.
Or maybe I'm totally blinded to the notion that people in Los Angeles, as a whole, are morons. This we know. But maybe I'm buying in enough to the extent that I don't realize that living there has made me out of touch with, oh say, the other 98% of the country that does not live in the metropolitan epicenter that is Southern California.
Whatever the case, I wonder: Had I remained in Ohio, would I be more like them? I don't remember being narrow-minded or bigoted in my younger years but maybe I didn't know better because it was the majority (sadly)? Or maybe that I've never been this way and I've only recently started really paying attention to the message between the lines.
Thus, I revert back to my favorite inner debate of nature vs. nurture. How much, of who we become is innately formed and what extent is purely humanistic?
Or maybe I should shove it and enjoy the $3 drinks, daylight until 9:45 p.m., home cooking, boating on the Great Lakes and 6.5% sales tax while I can. Happily, most other aspects of Ohio are still a dream to revisit and I'm always glad I do. |
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| 25 |
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| 02:10am 24/05/2009 |
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mood:  loved music: Electric Six - I'm the Bomb
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Between the Nine Inch Nails + Jane's Addiction concert, soup line at the Edison, hanging in Griffith Park and Dave and Buster's, it's been a most satisfactory birthday weekend. Seriously just what I've been needing and probably the best since 21 in Vegas (almost as good drink quality-wise, but not quite). No quarter-life crisis here, I've got lots to look forward to!
Baller.
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| USPS? More like USBS! |
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| 12:53am 12/05/2009 |
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mood:  nerdy music: Amelie soundtrack
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I just read in the news that the cost of stamps went up two cents today to 44 cents? What the hell is this? Didn't the price go up about a year ago? Nonetheless, on Friday I was at the post office and decided I need a sheet of about half a million stamps. The postal lady was reaching for some generic, non-Forever ones and I said, "no no, the awesome Simpsons stamps that are on display, of course." She asked if I consented to the fact they cost 44 cents, compared to the usual 42. I thought, 'there's no price on good taste,' and complied. I remember thinking, why are these two cents more? Obviously they're cooler than the other flower stamp option, so I thought it was a novelty fee or something. Or the two cents benefit a charitable collection for that Simpsons character who has lupus or the one who lost a son in the war or something.
Luckily, my decision for the more expensive stamps was well played as I don't have to buy penny stamps like the last time this situation rolled around--this kind of good fortune never happens to me, hurrah! But the woman who tried to sell me generic stamps, oh I am not pleased with the likes of her. She must have known that prices were going up and didn't warn me prior to my Simpsons selection? What a bitch. Good choice, Lesley, no thanks to the United States Post Service.
Besides actually needing stamps, I thought I'd buy a half a million because I was entertaining thoughts of sending old school MAIL invitations for my birthday gathering- a social attempt I haven't done since I turned..hmm..exactly. My line of thinking is- nowadays with facebook and evite, it's actually a rare treat to get hand-crafted letters from friends in the mail. I get a few post cards a year and oh yes, they instantly are secured a prominent location on my fridge. Yes, in the event I decide to go through with this social gathering plan, I thought, 'oh how nifty it would be to mail people.' You know what USPS? Suck it, I'm not giving you a large stack of business. I'll just utilize your bastard cousin, "electronic" mail. You'll probably lose my mail anyway, like my aunt's graduation check and thus far, my Mother's Day card. Assholes.
Ok, I somewhat understand the logic behind inflation, increasing production costs and compensation for the decreasing amount of revenue generated from sending snail mail. But at the same rate, I'm still annoyed. I remember that from what felt like all of my youth, stamps were 29 cents (or realistically, three years' worth). I remember these things cause I was one of those stamp-collecting kids who had hundreds of pages to show for it. Whatever, it was bitchin; I even had 2 cent stamps from my relatives' saved love letters from 1900 that we somehow inherited. Stamps were two cents for twenty five friggin years! And in the past three years alone, stamps have cost three different prices.
I just realized that kids of the future probably won't have stamp collections, with all the electronic bills and the post office pissing off its civilians and all. Can I again just say how cool my nerd collection was? I'm saddened for all of the children of the future. They say that with every passing generation, our children should thrive better than their parents. Well kids, no stamp collection for you, I win. |
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| All you need is love? |
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| 03:33am 11/05/2009 |
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mood:  awake music: Here We Go Magic - Tunnelvision
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I spend so much time being cynical, by character not by circumstance. I'm not a depressing person really, I always have a positive attitude despite my bitching. I constantly am in reminder of daily annoyances that I forget to embrace what makes me giggle. So alternatively, what do I love?
-I love washing and detailing my own car. I love how it makes me feel to be so attentive to something so many others find as a money-draining chore.
-I love Pasadena. This town continues to impress me in so many different ways. I love that I've been able to continuously enjoy living in the same place for (gasp) almost two years.
-I love my kitteh and how she always knows when I'm sick or down and comes and sleeps on my chest. I also love how she meows every time I sneeze, even when she's sound asleep.
-I love not having homework and being completely free after I get home from work. I have free time! I can hang out with the friends I forgot I had! Amazing!
-I love how I still somehow have stayed in touch with a lot of old friends despite being thousands of miles away and seeing them a handful of times in years.
-I love business attire. Call me crazy but dressing in a suit actually thrills me.
-I love having a gym in my apartment that has all the paid channels I'm too cheap to buy.
-I love how I'm going to the NINJA tour. Ahh Trent and Dave Navarro, it's been way too long!
-I love cheese. I'm an old Jewish grandmother when it comes to discounts and coupons and saving every buck possible at the store, but the one thing where price is no object is imported cheese.
-I love martinis. I love making martinis. I love that others love my martinis, because they are, in fact, awesome.
-I love that 25 is two weeks away. Discounted insurance and rental car capabilities, here I come.
-I love rollerblading around town when it's warm at night.
-I love living with a fun roommate who brings loads of fun, tasty JPL guy friends over to our place for hookah magic.
-I REALLY love the Edison in downtown. 35 cent martinis/free grilled cheese and soup/flapper waitresses/1920s architecture? I need to convince the bar to let me live there.
-I love my music collection and love when at parties (though rare it is) they play my kinda tunes instead of top 40s bullshit or rap.
-I love how slowly, I'm regaining all the fun that's been stripped of my life. Between drama, school and an emotionally draining, isolating relationship, it's great to know that it's possible to be mature and fun-loving at the same time. Much like how life was at 21, but without all the depression and self-destruction.
-I love not knowing what the future holds because I know I'll look back in 5 years, much as I do now, and think "damn I had no idea..."
-I do not love how I teeter on the verge of being an insomniac. What, I couldn't end on a positive note, that'd just be too much to ask of me. |
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| 01:42am 20/04/2009 |
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mood:  worried
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There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night |
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| Misspent youth, faking up a rampage |
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| 02:17am 19/04/2009 |
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mood:  melancholy
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I forgot how much the song Stumbleine meant to me and how, at 14 (a decade ago!), this is what I identified with. I even remember using the line "nobody nowhere understanding anything about me...and all my dreams...lost at sea," as my AIM away message at that time. I think this line can follow anyone no matter what stage of life you're in and reviewing its relevance as a freshman in high school compared to how I could potentially apply it to this modern day is so, so vastly different. But it seemed so much more significant and permanent back then.
That, and Daydream (the demo version), I listened to no less than 1000 times, but probably not since 2000. I guess I have to be in the right phase to appreciate grounding songs like these, and I've been distracting myself (for better or worse) too much to identify. But I want to get back to that.
I remember how infinite time seemed then, and how infinite the sadness was (pun intended). I remember how I felt things so much more intensely than I let myself now since I realize that I need to filter out pain and become apathetic to it lest I be rendered unproductive. I remember thinking: this song IS me, the melody and the listlessness, and I will never ultimately change and I, to a degree, enjoy this about me. So now, I think, have I really changed it? I think we're all still that 14 year old with some added mileage and a better sense of how to not let the bad affect us as much.
I remember how hard it was to find music videos back then, and how I had the physical lyrics book from the CD instead of looking them up on google. Every new version of the song was a rare treat. And despite the awesomeness of youtube, I still cannot find this one particular live, upbeat version I once had. Balls!
This is who I was growing up, this was my scene, this is the foundation for my lonely self. I don't think I want to abandon that part of me, despite how desolate it was.
Meanwhile, some humor from looking up youtube vids:
I don't see how that's relevant at all...
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| Don't Ever Think (too much) |
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| 01:42am 08/04/2009 |
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mood: pissed off
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I'm not sure it if is less painful to suppress all memories and associations with him altogether, or to wait it out until I don't care, which is inevitable in due time. Ahh complete dissonance. Yessss, there's the Lesley we all know (and some of us) love.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, has been my week. |
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| My love is music, I will marry melody |
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| 03:46am 20/03/2009 |
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mood: complacent music: All of the above
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Haven't had a week this traumatic, for about 57 different reasons, in a long while. How have I been retaining sanity and functioning properly at work and such? There's been some wine, yes (though saved for apres-work). But more importantly, there has been the soothing power of music. Music that makes you remember, music that helps you forget. Music that lets you feel something different than what you're feeling, and music that helps you tune out everything else.
I was describing my perfect date to someone recently, well my perfect way to spend a significant moment with someone I care about. He was saying the usual: dinner + have whatever cliche discussion + fall into each other's arms and so on and so forth.
Without having such a prompted answer, I told him something slightly truncated (and more economical), to the effect of: lay down in a dark room, light some candles...wait for it, this is going somewhere else...have a fantastic stereo system nearby to loudly play an audibly orgasmic playlist of music that's so captivating you are on the bring of tears, no matter how many times you have heard the song.
I remember I did this with someone at Rollins when I played him "Angel" by Massive Attack and it was nothing short of perfect. Such to the extent that I forget the fine details of so many first dates, so many important emotional moments that I probably shouldn't. But this? Never.
When I described this scenario, it was totally lost on him. To hell with him. I just want someone to listen to music with and to just shut up and enjoy what we already know to be good.
Righto, so I've been on a constant loop of a few songs through the good, the bad and the goddamnridiculous this week has shown. So what's been giving me life? And what are you all being moved by?
-Land of Talk - "Sea Foam" to capture the ecstatic yet moping around, confused tone as of late. I want these girls to follow me around and play this when I get home and kick off my shoes and hang up my coat in a self-defeating way.
-The Rosebuds - "Boxcar" for when you want to shout I FUCKING LOVE THIS ALL
-Critical Bill - "My Suicide Girl" because we love the 90s and trying to be badass
-Tin Hat Trio - "Willow Weep For Me" to allow music to let life feel like the end credits of a film
-Rinocerose - "Cubicle" for when I am feeling quirky sitting in my cubicle
-The Black Ghosts - "Full Moon" because we all need a good song that is beautifully performed by our cars' stereos whilst sitting in traffic
-Jace Everett - "Bad Things" for the positive association with vampires and the rockabilly awesomeness. I'll dance to this, and that says a lot. Now, to find a place to play this, besides my ipod/Mini/Mac...
-Death in Vegas - "Dirge" since sexiness and despair always seem to go hand in hand
-Does it Offend You Yeah - "Dawn of the Dead" because we all need to think of someone out of reach
-Supertramp - "Goodbye Stranger" for the literal and figurative beauty of this classic track
-Silversun Pickups - "Well Thought out Twinkles" because we sometimes need to listen over and over and over and over...
-Three Days Grace - "Animal" for the best way anger can be expressed through neo-altrock
-Beyonce - "Single Ladies" for when we all feel like a sellout for being victim of stupid catchy pop
-Semisinic - "Singing in My Sleep" since we all need to just have a good smile now and again
-The Ting Tings - "That's Not My Name" when people mistakenly call me Lindsey (happens once a week)
Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends. |
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| 09:35pm 17/03/2009 |
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Me, rockin the pink flair, boss person and her two friends. And that guy, Zack Snyder and the beauty that is Pasadena in the background. Oh yes. |
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| famous people!! |
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| 02:17pm 15/03/2009 |
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mood:  excited music: Sea Foam - Land of Talk
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So I just shared a plate of hummus with Zack Snyder, the director of 300/Watchmen/Dawn of the Dead apparently?
Topics we discussed before I was made known who he was: the fact that I handed out 5,000 pens at our Race for the Cure booth this morning and that the general population of peoples are greedy little bitches, I was hungover at 6-fucking-oclock whilst dealing with them, and that, in his sleep, I'm going to steal the anchor's Pasadena Hills house (where we were).
And then came the embarrassing realization that no, Lesley, you're not just talking to an overly enthused, ruggedly sexyish older man. You're talking to a bijillionaire who made one of my favorite zombie movies happen! And abs! Lots and lots of abs! And giant penis! (all of which I thanked him for after finding out who he was).
I've been led to believe that all directors are egocentric, annoyingly visionary people, especially when they've made billions from making films from other peoples' stories. But this guy was pretty friendly and talkative. Hell, he encouraged me to steal his friend/neighbor's estate.
Maybe if I wake up at 6am every Sunday I'll have an adventure?
Nah. |
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| Do I make others or myself more uncomfortable? |
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| 02:50pm 08/03/2009 |
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mood:  silly
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Wearing a shirt to the gym that quotes in big bold letters, "I wanna be your dog"....good or bad idea? I'm not sure if it makes it more or less creepy that Iggy Pop's face is largely displayed on the front. AHAHhahhh I'm all silly today. |
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| This is not a love song |
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| 10:41am 07/03/2009 |
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mood: annoyed
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I've decided that I cannot stand 95% of people who are in relationships. The individuals are fine, especially if/when they are my friends. But together, somehow for some reason, everyone gets super annoying. And clingy. There is absolutely no reason you need to call five times every day when you are not together. There is no justifiable reason for which one should speak in a high-pitched baby voice. None.
Not to say that I haven't been stupid within the three year duration of my relationship, may it rest in peace. Sure, we all get overly analytical sometimes and run scenarios past our friends. We, as chicks and as humans, of course get caught up in stupid technicalities that we would otherwise overlook. So yes, there is some connection between relationship and stupid.
And it's not that I haven't enjoyed someone immensely so that I can't wait to phone them or tell them something lame I saw that made me think of them. Hell, I lived with my exboy and became accustomed to being around at all times. But even still, I needed my own space and my own life to live, sans constant interaction or approval. I just don't see how they completely change your awesome, dependable, resilient friends into insecure, clingy, paranoid freaks.
And for that matter, when I see my friends turn into so and know that this is most likely not the attribute that their boyfriends found attractive in the first place (I hope not, at least), I often wonder how these girls are perpetually accepted as such and encouraged by their guys.
Maybe I just hate unnecessary correspondence. Perhaps all the people I have been attracted to are independent, intelligent and slightly cold hearted. But I know damn well that I've never uttered a baby voice or any other form of unacceptable behavior, called anyone a pet name unless I was being utterly facetious. And I have some sense of when not to annoy the hell out of your friends when talking about/to your man.
I can only think of a few couples that I would go as far as to say I enjoy them both and actually encourage their relationship. And my favorite people broke up this week after some six years together! What the hell! Why do all the annoying couples have to stay together instead?
Ugh I am so happy to not have to deal with this right now. So, so happy to be single.
Nonetheless, I can appreciate the irony in the fact that while I'm writing this, my kitty Lolita has been constantly nudging me and meowing my ear off and I've been undoubtedly encouraging this by giving her attention. |
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| 02:33am 28/02/2009 |
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mood: cheerful music: Black Ghosts - Full Moon
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So we all know lj is for bitching about the grand injustices in your life when your friends don't care/need to listen. Fact. So contrary to that, I'm looking back through the years of what remains of my photos when I was in my truly "argh I have so much rage towards everything unjustly so" phase..and I'd just like to say that I've had awesome friends and memories. Like my photos from 2002-2006 crack me the hell up. I'm usually grateful about moving on, but I do miss such bonds with people and the adventures we had. Not to mention having a ridiculously ridiculous metabolism that rendered me thin and presumably in shape without exerting any effort whatsoever. Good times. Maybe it's that 'I don't give a fuck" mentality that made everything worthwhile? I need to revive photos soon. |
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| 03:31am 25/02/2009 |
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mood: discontent music: Boards of Canada - Chromakey Dreamcoat
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Remember our friend Abby? She was great back in the day. Whatever happened to her? |
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| Corporate radio! |
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| 03:36am 22/02/2009 |
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mood: confused music: Gilles Peterson - Wanin Moon
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Yesterday was my first day of work in promotions for 97.1 fm.
Twas a CBS talk/news station that houses the highly syndicated Adam Corolla show, the Tom Leykis talk show and the Heidi, Frosty and Frank morning show, and the like.
Yesterday was also my last day of work at 97.1,
They (and I) learned on Wednesday that CBS would be replacing them with a top 40s station. So upon arriving to work on Friday, I realized that I, along with everyone who worked there, had been fired. I thought it would be just transfered over to the new shitty station, but oh no, everyone got the boot. There was mad drinking in the studio, I met Tom Leykis, and I hung around for a bit with some other awesome yet bitter (former) employees.
Best or worst first day or work ever? |
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| A tribute to DirecTV |
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| 12:37pm 16/02/2009 |
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mood: disappointed music: Tricky - Excess
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I do not understand.
We're in tough economic times, of which there is increasing proof every week. It's not like it's just centralized towards one industry, like this time last year with the writer's strike (albeit some were more hurt than others, like yours truly who lived with a camera operator...so yeah, tough times). But no, this is spanning many diverse industries- DHL, Circuit City, Macy's, Fazolis, about one hundred banks, etc. So the tough times are no secret nor are they limited to specific markets. Everyone is in jeopardy job cuts, hour cuts, and hell, even their company being cut.
That being said, I don't see why now of all times there is such a lack of customer service and overall product satisfaction.
I wrote a long explanation of the transactions between DirecTV and me, but it angered me so I'll write the abridged synopsis in that: 1) Cable man missed our appointment, after a scheduling nightmare to get the appointment 2) Scheduling people tell me there are only so many time periods the cable men can come, while I was told that Saturdays were an option because hey, some people work M-F, 9-5 and can't be there 3) I arrange for a man to come while I'm at work, though this was quite the struggle for them somehow 4) he comes and forgets to install internet 5) I spend a grand total of about 5 hours, no exaggeration, on the phone scheduling, being transferred, and trying to get them to see how unacceptable this is to do to new (or any) clients.
-edit - 6) They totally missed the appointment today to install the internet, without any explanation. ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME!
This whole time, I keep thinking, do these people just not give a shit? And how is that possible? In such a time where companies are making huge cutbacks, wouldn't you want to be the one who does the best he can to retain customer satisfaction? Wouldn't you work just a smidge harder to make someone else's life a little easier? Yes, it might involve doing 5 minutes of extra research or pushing schedules around, but why wouldn't you go the extra inch?
Fuck you people, I have an unpaid internship and a paying part time job. And I still work probably 20 times harder without even thinking about it. Yeah, it does upset me that I should already have a respectable job that doesn't require a name tag or apron that pays decently because I've earned it, but honestly, I know that it'll pay off, I'm doing a lot of interesting things, learning a lot, and I will get there because I'm a hard worker. So ok, another year of declining frequent bar nights and not shopping at the stores I enjoyed when money grew on trees. But I can tough it out, because I know it will turn around and my work will eventually be able to be channeled into a career when spots become available again. So what's your excuse, sub-par customer relations representative?
I remember hearing something at school about the integrity of students and teachers during the depression. No, the other one. So the story goes, teachers took IOU's from students to remain teaching. Or the students brought them food in turn for classroom time, things like that. And most of the teachers stayed there working and eventually received their owed money as soon as the students were capable to pay them back.
Though an inspirational tale, this has been on my mind a lot because it seems so removed from what we are used to today. I don't believe people at large have such a work ethic. If our great-grandparents were around today O'm sure we would get such a lashing for how self-centered we are and how, in the face of an ugly economic nightmare, we become even more stingy instead of powering through and being decent to each other.
You know, I kinda hope that a lot of these businesses do get wiped out. Much like wild brush fires- destructive, harmful, but a pavement for new and diverse life. Call me a cynic, call me an asshole, whatever. Maybe then it would create such a competition for employment that people would be amazing and willing to succeed in their mind-numbingly boring cubicle job.
Or maybe that's a horrible thought and no good would come from it. So is this the best that we can have? |
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